


Announcements from Starkiller Base

by DreamsOfArkanis



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen, It's a big base, Light-Hearted, Needs lots of announcements, Probably so many characters to come, Silly, Stars help them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-21 21:45:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15566994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamsOfArkanis/pseuds/DreamsOfArkanis
Summary: Starkiller Base is a work in progress, equal parts an operational base and a massive construction site.  Announcements are constant and range in importance, and it's all up to one man to make sure everyone knows the news.





	1. Snow Day

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this came from the Lego Force Awakens game, where if you hang around on Starkiller Base enough you'll hear announcements from General Hux ranging from serious to hilarious. What's a better warm-up for more serious writing than short writings of random announcements?
> 
> Chapters will range in length, as these are simply meant as light-hearted fun.
> 
> Got something you'd like announced? See my Ko-fi for details. Same username there as here!  
> Do note that my muse has full rights to present your announcement as he sees fit...*grin*
> 
> None of the characters present are owned by me, that honor goes to Lucasfilm and Disney.

Starkiller Base was more of a construction area than a functioning base at the current time. Enough buildings had been finished to allow high command to room there and keep a close eye on everything, but it would still be some time until the base was at full capacity in both function and staff. As such, it was a regular occurrence to hear announcements throughout the complex.

All around the partially constructed base, the intercom system crackled to life. 

"To all of you sending in messages asking if the blizzard outside makes this a snow day, the answer is: NO. If we made -this- a snow day we'd have to make EVERY day a snow day. You all do realize this is a -frigid- planet, right?"

It was easy for the workers scattered through the base to hear the sheer exasperation in the tone of their leader. This would be a good day to keep one's head down and work hard to avoid being hit by the General's wrath.

"It will snow today. And tomorrow, and likely EVERY DAY we are here on Starkiller Base. I suggest you get used to it. Perhaps not quite as used to it as whoever made that snow version of Kylo Ren however. Such things are -not- acceptable, unless they are being used for target practice. In that case, I will overlook it."

Watching Kylo Ren be blasted to bits would do wonders for the General's stress. Even if it was just a snow version being destroyed.

"And a final message to the Snowtrooper Units. Refrain from making snow cones while you are on patrol. You are paid to WORK, not make sweet snacks. Furthermore, quit offering the yellow ones to other units. We all know it's urine, and you're in trouble if you keep it up."

Armitage shut the intercom off with a groan at that horrible last line. He was going to fire whoever wrote these announcements for him, and possibly that snickering officer over there too.


	2. Behavioral Issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for this came from the Lego Force Awakens game, where if you hang around on Starkiller Base enough you'll hear announcements from General Hux ranging from serious to hilarious. What's a better warm-up for more serious writing than short writings of random announcements?
> 
> Chapters will range in length, as these are simply meant as light-hearted fun.
> 
> Got something you'd like announced? See my Ko-fi for details. Same username there as here!  
> Do note that my muse has full rights to present your announcement as he sees fit...*grin*
> 
> None of the characters present are owned by me, that honor goes to Lucasfilm and Disney.

Though his uniform was as proper as always, it was clear to those around him that their General was not as well rested as he could be. The night crew had reported him roaming the halls late into the night, checking on operations to be sure they were running as smoothly as they did under his supervision during the day. It resulted in some frazzled nerves as the night shift was brought up to speed, and yet another sleepless night for their leader.

There was a headache forming, the pain throbbing behind his eyes. Whether it was a result of how annoyed he felt looking over the day's announcements or his lack of sleep the General simply didn't know. Either way, he needed to get this over with before the headache got even worse.

"Today we're going to go over some behavioral problems as well as things that are just plain -common sense-. The fact we have to go over this at all is a great disappointment."

There would need to be some tweaks to their training programs to account for this. He -never- wanted to have to announce such basic things again.

"We will start with a request from Captain Phasma. She has asked that the practice of using her armor as a mirror while you fix your hair be ceased immediately. I've give her permission to punish as she sees fit should it happen again."

While it could be hilarious to see what sorts of punishments the Captain thought up, Armitage hoped this would be the end of the issue. Having their soldiers and the Captain's time taken up by such ridiculous antics took their time away from far more important issues. Like destroying the Republic, for instance!

"Following on that, those working in the hangar have issued a reminder that those operating TIE or any other vehicles check to be sure they are not tethered down when you attempt take-off. TIEs fly better when not tied down. Snowspeeders certainly move better if they aren't hooked up by fuel lines. For their sanity please do an exterior check of your vehicle before moving it. At all."

He really…really could not believe he had to remind them of some of these things.

"As a note, there -are- cameras located within the projection room Leader Snoke uses. Don't think we can't figure out who's using it to prank call the Supreme Leader. The next person who does so is getting Leader Snoke's face projected into their sleeping quarters. Believe me when I say that is not a pleasant sight to be woken up to. You'll have nightmares for weeks afterwards."

The intercom clicked off. Let them linger on the thought of Snoke's horrid scarred face looming over them as they slept. That should keep the base on good behavior for at least one cycle.


End file.
